As part of my “Walk with the Lord” I have been trying to educate myself and immerse myself in Gods Word. So I found this site : https://www.reviveourhearts.com
They have a series of “30 Day Challenges” and one was “Husband Encouragement Challenge” seeing as at the time I was working on the “Wives of the Bible” series it seemed like “Husbands” was a good place to start. So I signed up and I receive daily emails to read and take action on and also pray about. I have been adding them to my Bible journaling book and keeping them on hand. So when I read today’s challenge ( its actually day 23- I’m behind) I had to chuckle because my Husband and I are as different as chalk and cheese.
- He loves motorbikes and camping, I was terrified and wondered how we could ever find any common ground regarding the motorbikes, needless to say we did and now I am so comfortable with my husband on the back of his bike, I can and have fallen asleep. All thanks to a very wise man who took me aside and gave me this great advice. He told me “it doesnt matter how much Rob loves you, he loves that Triumph more and he’s not going to do anything that will scratch the paintwork on his bike, so you are safe on the back of that bike, AND besides he doesnt want to be left behind with five kids, so you are really safe!”
- Camping, well I am a convert, its not exactly what the Bloke had in mind, I take my sarongs and we have sunscreens and table clothes and he argued about us needing a kitchen, I insisted and he loves “Donna drifter” our super duper kitchen, our camping is referred to as “Glamping”
So here is todays Email…
Appreciating His Strengths
Your Challenge: For the next thirty days, don’t say anything negative to or about your husband. Also, say something positive to and about your husband each day.
Showing yourself in all respects to be a model of good works. —Titus 2:7 ESV
God has wired us with different personalities. And often He will draw together two people with opposite strengths and weaknesses, on purpose, in order to refine us and help us. Sometimes the very strengths we love at first become points of contention later. ( I had to chuckle because my Husband and I are as different as chalk and cheese. He is tall and thin and can eat anything he wants, I am average height and I just have to look at bread, a cake or a pie and I can feel the kilos jumping onto my stomach. He’s happy in a crowd and is the clown, full of laughter and jokes which comes in handy when we have parties, because I get to stay in my kitchen with my closely guarded few friends and I am happy, many parties have been spent happily in my kitchen, just look at the photos 9 times out of 10 any photo with me in it will be in the kicthen!) )
Is your husband organized? ( YES! He has all his passwords neatly ordered, he has the bills neatly sorted, I have a more haphazard filing system and yet you will always hear the cry “Ask Mum to have a “Sheila look” meaning he cant find something but Mum will know exactly where it is, and I do! It’s usually in the magical mysterious bottom drawer in the kitchen! He is a minimilist and thinks less is more, I am a borderline horder, I have the feeling that “I can use this later for something” The Bloke says “When? Can you get another one at the time when you need it?” Yes of course he’s right, and I usually toss it or donate it.)
Is he diligent? ( YES!! This is the man who measures three times and drills a hole in my wall four times or how ever many it takes to get that painting hung JUST right, as if anyone will notice its a poofteenth off kilter!!) Is he persistent? These are all related to a pattern of personal disciplines that are worthy of your praise—(and I do Praise him, I do!! I am the first to show off his work, but I often walk away and just let him get on with it!) even when his bent for order and discipline comes against your bent for whimsy ( OH!!! this is HUGE!! My Bloke likes a face to look like a face and when I do “whimsy faces” with long necks and huge eyes, he points out that the eyes are not exactly in the right placement.. And its then I bite my tongue and “thank him for his opinion BUT its meants to look like that its make believe!”)
Affirm him for these traits and how this helps your marriage function. (its true, our differences do improve our marriage, he chips in and gives me suggestions with my art, when I need technical information about measurements for patchwork, he drops what he’s doing to help me convert and then he even gets the rotary cutter and cuts the fabric for me! Cooking is another compromise, I am NOT allowed to cook steak, BBQ, fish or roast meat, he doesnt like my over cooking so he does those things. Shopping, I taught him to buy the plain label items for far less money and much the same taste, there are a few things we wont compromise on, Coffee, Butter, Chocolate and my soylinseed bread, the rest we will compromise on.)
Some men are naturally more spontaneous. They may be fun loving or people- (My Bloke is the only man I know that can go into a Rock n Roll dance and take an hour to get through the door, because he has to stop, chat and kiss all the women hello, so far out of my comfort level) focused. These are all related to a creative spirit (YES!! He is very creative, a few weeks ago I donated a sheet of cardboard for the recycle bin, I donated it from my stash and he said “Oh I can use this” which is usually my line! Within an hour he was back the sheet of cardboard had become a collapsible, flat packed fire pit, he had an idea and had made a prototype out of my cardboard, that got taken to work and computer designed and within a week the sheet of cardboard had become a metal version and all because I donated a sheet of cardboard to the recycle bin!) that is also worthy of your praise—even when his bent for spontaneity comes against your bent for planning.
Action Step: Serve your husband with your strengths.
If you are more naturally spontaneous and fun loving, perhaps God called you together to help him loosen up. Serve your husband with your ability to enjoy the twists and turns of life.
If you are more naturally disciplined, ( Having had an ADHD child, I have had to be disciplined, every bit of time of the day where Jarrah was involved was structured, now that Jarrah is grown and left home The Bloke is helping me chill a little) perhaps God has called you together to help him stay focused—but this does not include nagging. (no need for nagging my Bloke, I ask him for his help and he helps because that is the marriage we have, I am the same, when he needs my help, I will go right away and help, because thats what a husband/wife is there for, in my opinion.) Serve your husband with your multitasking and organizational skills.
A Wife’s Prayer
Heavenly Father, when I see the differences between my husband and me, sometimes I am grateful (NOW I am grateful, in the start of our relationship, I was convinced we would never last, then I realised God had sent him as my opposite!). . . but sometimes it is so difficult (often I bite my tongue because as much as I love the man he drives me to distraction, now I understand that I am a wife of integrity and so I sigh and let it go) Let me serve my husband, in love, with the gifts You’ve given me. Help me learn from my husband and lean on his strengths. Fill me today with an appreciation for how You’ve wired him and let me be quick to praise him for being the balance I need in life.
Find out about this “30 day Husband Encouragement challenge” and more here: https://www.reviveourhearts.com/resource-library/30-day-challenges/