NaBloPoMo.. February “make” Days 17 and 18…

NaBloPoMo_0215_465x287_MAKE

I’ve been stupidly busy this month.. really, and yet some days I feel like I’ve got nothing done and some days I didn’t even my blog.. to anyone who reads regularly I apologize, but you know sometimes life happens and I am actually out of the house long enough that nothing inside the house gets done… I used to be organised!!

Tuesday, February 17, 2015
What do you think of the idea “if life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Do you think it’s always possible to make something bad into something good?

I never used to prescribe to this way of thinking and I was walking around going “Woe is me” and then I realized what a “victim” I was becoming.. a very wise Councillor told me that if you look at everything that happens to you as a “lesson” you can usually pick out what you’ve learnt from the “mistake” or “bad thing” that happened to you. How right she was… I went as far back at 1999 and re-evaluated steps I’d made which lead to my divorce and how I had grown by making those steps, be they hard, uncomfortable or just ugly. I always learnt something either about others or myself. Which meant that the “rose colored glasses” I swanned through life wearing, were ripped off cruelly, Which meant that I grew into what I am now. I read a quote the other day saying something like “Don’t be too harsh on me, God’s not finished with me yet” and I feel like that’s my lesson, stop beating myself up I am still alive, I am healthy and I am still growing, I am not making the same mistakes over and over so I MUST be learning.. sometimes you have to rip off the band-aid to let the fresh air in and help you heal, yeah, it hurts for a while but you move onward and upwards, so yes, When I get lemons I make lemonade maybe with a little extra added sugar!!

 

Wednesday, February 18, 2015
What do you do to try to make other people happy? What do you do to try to make yourself happy?

The short answer to this is “too much” and in regards to making myself happy “not enough”

I am a people pleaser… it’s not always a good trait, because sometimes it can be translated as “Doormat” and you get walked all over. There’s a line, and sometimes you have to give yourself permission to say “NO” not in a mean way but in a firm way say “Sorry no!” Great advice, I’ve read it in a million “self help” books  rarely do it.

Especially when it comes to my children, but then I had Grandchildren and realized that I have to stop being a “people pleaser” and be real.. I baby sit for the girls one night a month, they get a “Night off” they are young, 24 and 22 and still in the partying mode when they can. But even as I write this I think to myself “that is nice, but when is MY night off?” I never get a night off. Most times it doesn’t worry me, because I escape to my room and work in my journal or my bible studies, but every so often I long for a night away from “Children” whether they are the 13 yr old, the grown up children or the grand children, a night off to speak about grown up things with grown up people which doesn’t involve being interrupted by someone who thinks they NEED you right now!

So I took matters into my own hands and on Mondays I go out of the house and I go to a “Life art Class” I’ve been two weeks now, and it’s amazing how fast that two hours slips by, and it’s amazing how quiet, peaceful and relaxed the atmosphere is. Almost as soon as I stand at the easel I can feel my shoulders start to relax and my mind goes blank and I am in a little bubble of seeing and drawing and getting filthy with charcoal and I realize I am in BLISS… there’s really no other word for it but BLISS… It’s like a shock when our teacher Sean tells us “that’s it ladies and gentlemen, see you next week” it’s a let down with a thump!

bliss (blĭs) n.

1. Extreme happiness; ecstasy.
2. The ecstasy of salvation; spiritual joy.

Phrasal Verb: bliss out Slang.. To go into a state of ecstasy.

YES!! See I did choose the right word.. its my spiritual joy to do this art class…it’s my freedom from the house, it’s my freedom from children and I am MISSING it so much having so much hands on contact with my grandbabies is great but I really miss Me time which equals Art time!

 

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