Mother’s Day…. Love it? or hate it?

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Today has been a bag of Mixed emotions for me..I’ve been in a remembrance mode, I’ve laughed and I’ve cried, just all of a sudden the tears came and they wouldn’t stop and what made me cry? I was remembering Mother’s Days gone past when my first Mother-in-law used to make such a fuss of us (her daughters and me, her daughter-in-law) we always had a gift from her for Mother’s day and usually a potted plant as well, invariably mine always lacked attention and died.. I’m good at that! But what made me miss her most of all today was something so simple.. her famous carrot cake.. she made it with frosted cream cheese icing and sprinkled chopped walnuts on top. My  then husband her only son, said how much he liked it and after that it was all we ever got… sometimes I was so tired of that cake, but days like today I would LOVE a piece of that cake!

Today is Mother’s Day and love it or hate it unless you aren’t a Mother or don’t have a Mother you might skip over today like a normal Sunday. I am a Mother and a Grand-Mother and I HATE Mother’s day…

Mother’s Day is a modern celebration honoring one’s own mother, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on various days in many parts of the world, most commonly in the months of March or May. It complements similar celebrations honoring family members, such as Father’s Day and Siblings Day.

The celebration of Mother’s Day began in the United States in the early 20th century; it is not related to the many celebrations of mothers and motherhood that have occurred throughout the world over thousands of years, such as the Greek cult to Cybele, the Roman festival of Hilaria, or the Christian Mothering Sunday celebration (originally a celebration of the mother church, not motherhood)Despite this, in some countries Mother’s Day has become synonymous with these older traditions.

The modern American holiday of Mother’s Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. Her campaign to make “Mother’s Day” a recognized holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her beloved mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died. Anna’s mission was to honor her own mother by continuing work she started and to set aside a day to honor mothers, “the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world”. Anna’s mother, Ann Jarvis, was a peace activist who cared for wounded soldiers on both sides of the Civil War and created Mother’s Day Work Clubs to address public health issues.

In 1908 the US congress rejected a proposal to make an official holiday, among jokes that they would have to proclaim also a “Mother-in-law’s Day”. Due to the campaign efforts of Anna Jarvis, by 1911 all US states observed the holiday, with some of them officially recognizing Mother’s Day as a local holiday, the first in 1910 being West Virginia, Jarvis’ home state. In 1914 Woodrow Wilson signed the proclamation creating Mother’s Day, the second Sunday in May, as a national holiday to honor mothers.

Although Jarvis was successful in founding Mother’s Day she soon became resentful of the commercialization and was angry that companies would profit from the holiday. By the early 1920s, Hallmark and other companies started selling Mother’s Day cards. Jarvis became so embittered by what she saw as misinterpretation and exploitation that she protested and even tried to rescind Mother’s Day. The holiday that she worked so hard for was supposed to be about sentiment, not about profit.[8] Jarvis’ intention for the holiday had been for people to appreciate and honor mothers by writing a personal letter, by hand, expressing love and gratitude, rather than buying gifts and pre-made cards.[9] Jarvis organized boycotts and threatened lawsuits to try to stop the commercialization. She crashed a candymakers’ convention in Philadelphia in 1923. Two years later she protested at a confab of the American War Mothers, which raised money by selling carnations, the flower associated with Mother’s Day, and was arrested for disturbing the peace.

Jarvis’ holiday was adopted by other countries and it is now celebrated all over the world.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day


To me it’s kind of like “Christmas” a huge build up then “BANG” it’s all over and the day is ours again. It’s a way for the stores to make extra money, they sell more flowers, cards and junk, Junk that no one usually wants or needs, than almost any other time except for Father’s day and Christmas and oh of course Easter…. the REAL reason for these holidays is long forgotten. I don’t want the “junk” I’d rather have a memory.

Christmas is of course to Celebrate the birth of Jesus.. not many people even think of him on that day, they are too busy whining about what presents they didn’t get!

Easter is about the death of Jesus on the cross.. what has that got to do with chocolate and bunnies and cute fluffy chickens? For most of us it’s about the four day holiday and until this year for our family it was all about going away camping… this year we camped but with Jesus in mind.

Father’s Day

Establishment of the holiday

Father and daughter

In 1910, a Father’s Day celebration was held in Spokane, Washington, at the YMCA by Sonora Smart Dodd, who was born in Arkansas. Its first celebration was in the Spokane YMCA on June 19, 1910. Her father, the Civil War veteran William Jackson Smart, was a single parent who raised his six children there. After hearing a sermon about Jarvis’ Mother’s Day in 1909 at Central Methodist Episcopal Church, she told her pastor that fathers should have a similar holiday honoring them. Although she initially suggested June 5, her father’s birthday, the pastors did not have enough time to prepare their sermons, and the celebration was deferred to the third Sunday of June. Several local clergymen accepted the idea, and on 19 June 1910, the first Father’s Day, “sermons honoring fathers were presented throughout the city.”

However, in the 1920s, Dodd stopped promoting the celebration because she was studying in the Art Institute of Chicago, and it faded into relative obscurity, even in Spokane. In the 1930s, Dodd returned to Spokane and started promoting the celebration again, raising awareness at a national level.She had the help of those trade groups that would benefit most from the holiday, for example the manufacturers of ties, tobacco pipes, and any traditional present to fathers. By 1938 she had the help of the Father’s Day Council, founded by the New York Associated Men’s Wear Retailers to consolidate and systematize the commercial promotion. Americans resisted the holiday for its first few decades, viewing it as nothing more than an attempt by merchants to replicate the commercial success of Mother’s Day, and newspapers frequently featured cynical and sarcastic attacks and jokes. However, said merchants remained resilient and even incorporated these attacks into their advertisements. By the mid-1980s, the Father’s Council wrote that “(…) [Father’s Day] has become a Second Christmas for all the men’s gift-oriented industries.”

A bill to accord national recognition of the holiday was introduced in Congress in 1913. In 1916, President Woodrow Wilson went to Spokane to speak in a Father’s Day celebration and wanted to make it official, but Congress resisted, fearing that it would become commercialized. US President Calvin Coolidge recommended in 1924 that the day be observed by the nation, but stopped short of issuing a national proclamation.[14] Two earlier attempts to formally recognize the holiday had been defeated by Congress. In 1957, Maine Senator Margaret Chase Smith wrote a proposal accusing Congress of ignoring fathers for 40 years while honoring mothers, thus “[singling] out just one of our two parents”. In 1966, President Lyndon B. Johnson issued the first presidential proclamation honoring fathers, designating the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day. Six years later, the day was made a permanent national holiday when President Richard Nixon signed it into law in 1972

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Father%27s_Day


So basically “Father’s day” is just a copy of Mother’s Day.. and how true is this statement…

By the mid-1980s, the Father’s Council wrote that ” [Father’s Day] has become a Second Christmas for all the men’s gift-oriented industries…. it’s all about the money!!

When I was a little girl giving my Dad “Father’s Day” presents he said “I don’t need a day for presents I know you love me every day” how true and wise.

As I was growing up we did the usual holidays, everyone got together for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and Christmas, and I wonder truthfully how many of us “REALLY” enjoyed those times… for that one day, all hard feelings had to be put aside, the fake smiles and the “happy” photos… someone was stuck in the kitchen preparing food, or busy cleaning their house to host a bunch of people who probably didn’t even notice how much work you’d done.

I did all those things too.. as a little girl for my Mother, as a young adult, for my Mother, as a young wife for my Mother and Mother-in-law, as a mother myself, for my own children and my mother and my Mother-in-law, and now it’s about to be as a Grand Mother, so it’s no longer for my mother or Mother-in-law although I did spend some lovely time with her today, maybe I am mellowing because that was the highlight of my day, and now for Children and Grand Children and from my very honest opinion, I HATE the day. I hate the lead up to Mother’s Day, I hate the soppy clips on Facebook and the Sloppy “love you Mum” sentiments.. I KNOW my children love me, we have more fun together on “NON” Mother’s days.

I see most of my children on a daily basis, so it’s not a great get together. I am not going to impose those same “rituals” on my children that I had to do for the last however many years, we got together his morning and then Jasmin, Chase and Brett went off to do his family celebrations.. because as Jasmin said “THEY actually celebrate stuff” Well.. Ohhh! This year, no one asked me what do you want for Mother’s Day.. so I didn’t care, I usually buy myself something I want anyways, like I buy all my own Christmas presents too.. at least I’ll get what I want. Amber did actually ask me and cared what the reply was and I told her and she brought it.. Thank you very much! I got a lovely DVD called “the Song” a Christian movie I’d been wanting and a Christian book called “undone” because she saw it on my “wish list” at the Koorong website.

No One asked me “What do you want to DO for Mother’s day?” because of course it’s the 2015 season of Football and so we know we have to go to the football at 11.30 am. So I sent the hour while they were warming up in the cold, I spent it in the car catching up on my bible study,

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My View while doing my Bible study.. wet, wet wet.

 

I sent my Sister-in-law a text message and told her I missed my Mother-in-aw and then I had a cry. Now I have no “rituals” I don’t need to be anywhere or have any food prepared, maybe I do miss it a little bit.

Then I decided to check my Blog feed and saw this post… https://blogapocalypse.wordpress.com/2015/05/09/what-i-want-for-mothers-day/ and I agreed with her.. I replied to her that Secretly (or not so secretly) I bet a lot of Mum’s feel that way… surprisingly I am the only one who’s replied to date. Life is so busy these days specially if you are a working mama, so “alone” time would be lovely.. I imagine that I would spent that alone time doing art… probably I’d just read my book!

Belle Jar had another opinion which moved me to tears again.. I was like leaking all day!! http://bellejar.ca/2015/05/10/mothers-day-2/

Blogging is great like that there are so many different points of view… so if you don’t like MY point of view it’s all good, check out one or both of the above two..

Meanwhile in my world..

I stood in the cold and watched my Star Son play Football and as he went onto the field he said “we’ll win this for all the Mums

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He was on the Sidelines warming up but there’s always time for a “Selfie” with Mum

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He didn’t like the first one with his Mouth guard in..

 

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close-ups! He’s such a cutie!

 

and they did!  Very convincingly.. they scored 87 to the other teams 19!

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Well done boys, well done!

Then we went to visit my Mother-in-law, who is in an aged care facility, we didn’t see her last week because we were all contagious with whooping-cough, so we had a nice long visit with her and a few laughs, so tears and manic laughter! She says “people might think I am crazy I sleep with this stuffed toy” she has a toy Pug, to replace her real one.. and then she went on to tell us “Well I’d rather sleep with a stuffed toy than a stuffed man!” and it was just so unexpected and funny, we all laughed until we cried. Then as we were fare welling her one of the residents was having a moment where she was trying to escape and one of the workers was trying to explain to her that she had to stay there, and my Mother-in-law said to her “Oh M.. you have to stay here and look after me” and she turned to my Mother-in-law and looked and her then turned back to the worker and said “oh yes, see I have a job to do here” as the worker tried to convince her to come back to her room, M… upped and punched her in the side of the head and very indignantly told her “OH! Just get lost!”  My Mother-in-law gasped and said “Oh did you see that? she hit her!” we were trying to get out of the door so we could laugh, it was just so comical! Once we left there to come home, the most amazing rainbow lit the sky..

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 Rainbows!

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Selfies with the rainbow it didn’t work!

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My new Slippers.. I also got a new night-gown and chocolates,,, I guess they missed the memo about “no chocolates” due to detox… they did however take on board NO FLOWERS! I warned them all if you waste money on flowers, you’ll wear them. Actually my Bloke joked about buying me silk ones which I might have accepted because them I could reuse them as models for life painting still life compositions… but they didn’t get me any…From Jasmin and Brett I got a fabric World Map hanging, which I had mentioned that I liked..it can go up on my wall to remind of all the places I have never been or may never get to.

They also brought me KFC for dinner and I didn’t do the dishes either.. so all in all it’s not been too bad of a day! Today was like any other Sunday, difference was I stayed in bed long enough for my Star Son to bring me raisin bread toast. Day’s like this I miss not drinking coffee.

I’d give it all up in a heartbeat to be camping in a tent in the desert in the Middle of Australia… oh well… we can’t have everything I guess!

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22 thoughts on “Mother’s Day…. Love it? or hate it?

  1. I love any excuse to celebrate and as such I love MOTHER’s day. In my native Mexico it is ALWAYS on May 10th, regardless of the day of the week, here in the USA it is the second Sunday in May and my friends in the UK celebrate earlier in the Spring. I am very blessed to have a mother, so I guess in the future it may well be a touching day with longing. I also had my one and only child late in life, so on my 17th year as a mom, it may still be a novelty?
    To me it is a great extension of honoring family and the commitment to parenting, as a child , grandchild or parent.
    I had never thought of looking up the history of the celebration so your article was interesting and I do love Carrot Cake, I have had many delicious ones, but never like the one of my childhood… I hope the day magically surprises you and that you come up with your very own FANTASTIC carrot cake. Pressing and re-blogging on WordPress, and HAPPY MOTHER’s DAY !

    • Thank you Maria! I hope you have a wonderful day! Do your traditions include a full day celebration? Or just a certain meal? I am thinking after having purged all that from my system, maybe next year I will start a tradition that is just for “Us” as in for my children and me.

  2. Reblogged this on Defining Ways and commented:
    …. interesting read, roots of the Holiday and to quote the writer/blogger “Today is Mother’s Day and love it or hate it unless you aren’t a Mother or don’t have a Mother you might skip over today like a normal Sunday. I am a Mother and a Grand-Mother and I HATE Mother’s day…” (I happen to love it, but her take was interesting…. HAPPY MOTHER’s day everyone

  3. Hi,
    I have very pleasant memories about Mother’s Day that I treasure but there are also those that I have discarded because they brought pain. I never had children but I have lots of godchildren. I believe today as back then that Mother’s Day should remind us of the inalienable right to be respected as a human being; that being a woman means not just having children because many women who have not had children are excellent mother substitutes for children who have horrible mothers. So, my Mother’s Day is celebrated by remembering those women who are forgotten.
    Shalom,
    Patricia

  4. We have already had Mother’s Day in March. I got a lovely card and present from my daughter, and she attempted to make my breakfast. We also go presents for my Mum and called in to see her. It is nice to celebrate both being a mum, and to honour our own mums but of course, it is all so commercialised now.

  5. I find it to be a very sad painful reminder of all that has been lost. A grown daughter that won’t even speak to me & a family that is toxic. I’m doing much better this year (God really does answer prayers) because I have the strength to change my thoughts away from the pain to the pleasant present. My wonderful sister-in-law reminded me that she knows I was a wonderful mom & that my daughter obviously has her own issues. I’m just so grateful this, like most holidays will be over soon.

    • Carrol, as always my soul sister friend, I send you my love, I am so excited that you are saving to come to Australia and we will finally meet. And thank you for taking the time to come visit my blog and post!! Hugs xoo

  6. oops … cat trying to lay across my arms & I hit enter too soon.
    to continue … What a long, full day you’ve had!
    I guess I had my Mother’s Day last week, when I was in Arizona visiting sons and grandchildren.
    Today is quiet — at home writing & spending it with 12 cats & 3 dogs – my furry children.

  7. I am like you Kim and do not place much store in mothers day, the meaning behind it is lost and it is totally commercialised in this day and age and I have never expected my children to ‘ do ‘ anything for me or buy me anything on this day, I chose to be a mother and don’t need a day of the year to be thanked for it and I resent that the corporate retail world has taken over this celebration to guilt the world into buying their goods for the populace mothers and the more expensive the gift the more ‘ love ‘ you show them.

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