A day from hell…

its the second day of the Victorian school holidays.

Normally I love the school holidays because we go away to our holiday place, nut since having Brand babies, and being carer for 18 month old “Squishy” I’ve cut back on my time away, plus who wants to miss anything?! I had planned to go to our holiday place on Sunday after Star Son played football for the day, but he chatted to some friends and they were not coming going down, and my cousin and her daughter were not going down, so Star Son would probably end up bored… Me, I like it with no one! So I “stupidly” cancelled our week away.

Yesterday (Monday) the niggling started, I prayed for strength, serenity and wisdom to be able to say whatever was needed to deflect the issues before I needed the strength to keep them at arms length. I pulled them both aside and told them, “I am not putting up with this the whole holidays”  it makes for a VERY long two weeks! Then I texted my husband and said “I wish I had gone, I am so stupid!” So he called and said ” I’ll drive you down after work!” So I took him up on the offer. Making plans to come down to St. Leonards tonight.

So this morning dawned a little brighter because I knew I was heading down here and that the serenity would kick in! And then…. They started…. A niggle here, a nudge there, whining, “she said… oh yeah well he said!!” And in my mind I’m screaming “SHUT UP!” In between screaming at them in my mind, I was reminding the Lord of yesterdays prayer. “Please help me keep this day calm”

At this point I would rather put up with the 18 & 19 month old than these two warring 12 and 23 yr olds! Amner took Sweetpea for her Dr’s appointment and so that was about 2 hours of “peace” and I had a visit from my cousin so that was a welcome relief.. And then it got to 4:30pm and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, the Bloke would be home at 5:15pm, everything we wanted to take was packed ready to go, so I thought, I’ll have my shower before I go… And I stupidly left them alone in the house! Unsupervised!

My shower was lovely and as I was putting on my shoes, Star Son runs upstairs and tells me ” We were fighting and pushing and shoving and she’s smashed through the door” initially I ignored him, because these two have been known to tell me stupid things to get a reaction, so I turned around and looked at him, and saw the tears in his eyes.. “What?!” No actually believing what I was hearing.

Ok, now I will confess I did not handle this as well as I could have, and I swore A LOT!! But I was shocked to see Amber laying on the floor, one hand on her head and one hand on her back, and then I see the window! Smashed to smithereens. I did check on Amber, there was no blood, there were no cuts, but there was glass all over the backdeck and the dogs were also at risk. The first thing I thought was “OMgosh, Rob is going to kill us/me/them/someone!!”  The next thought was “well there goes my trip to the beach to night” and then I started to yell… I know, I could have handled it better, maybe a bit of it was shock, disapointment, horror and fear! It could have been so much worse!! Not only did I yell, I confess with my head hung low, I swore! I used uo my limite vocabulary of swear words, and then shocked myself again, because its been a long time since I did that and they were shocked too! And then I looked and saw my Darling Sweetpea wide eyed and staring, wondering “Whats happened to my Grandma?” So I scooped her up, hugged her, got Amber up off the floor and tried to figure out, which thing to tackle first! Ranting at the kids, how stupid, irresponsible, blah blah blah they were and to make thungs worse, they are doing this stupid behaviour infront of the Baby, really? Is that what they want her to grow up seeing?
So I did what I always do, I rang my husband and calmly told him, what had happened and then held the phone at arms length while he practically repeated my earlier tired word for word, now I know where I got all the swear words from, lucky he was in the car driving home, so no one heard him! Except me. He said he’d tale care of it when he got home, as he always does, so I hung up and promptly burst into tears. Then I started the clean up. Made sure the dogs were safe, removed any pieces of glass that I could safely and then waited for him to get home and the proverbial “shit to hit the fan” 

He almost ran in the door, saw the broken door and then sworem and then came to hug me while I cried. He reassured me “its all good, I’ll fix it and we’ll go” within half an hour he’d removed the broken pieces I couldnt  get and then boarded up the window and packed us into the car. All the way down here I’ve been replaying the secene and thinking about what a bad Mother I am. For the way I handled the situation, for the fact that two of my children hate each other so much the physically come to blows, and not only that they broke my house! It could have been so much worse, the pieces of that glass were huge, serious injury could have resulted. 

It leaves ne wondering ” How did I go so wrong?” So here I am with Star Son, licking my wounds and reassing how I mother my children. I hate school holidays but its been a LONG time since I’ve had a day as bad as this one.

18 thoughts on “A day from hell…

  1. Kim,
    I hope your holiday is going better. I do this all the time-when things go wrong I yell at the kids, the cat – anyone weaker than myself.
    Thank God no one, including you, got hurt.

  2. Why do we, as mothers always blame ourselves for anything our kids do, that we have tried hard to teach them not to do? This is nothing you’ve done wrong, they are not exercising self control. They are both old enough to know better & know they’ve both been taught better, but Will is at that difficult age & maybe Amber is too. Forgive yourself & your kids, rest, relax & enjoy your time away from them. Hugs & prayers for your sanity!

  3. You did NOT do anything wrong. I’ve seen from your posts here and your posts on FB what a loving, nurturing, supportive mother and grandmother you are.
    You are human. Your children are human. We are living in an imperfect world. There will be ‘those days’.
    And we get up the next morning and go on.
    Enjoy your time away. It will soothe your soul and give you peace.

  4. Kim, I am so sorry you have had such an awful day. You are not a bad mother at all as most of us would have reacted in a similar way. You made sure everyone was safe, and did the best you could, I hope things calm down for you xx

  5. I feel bad for you. My kids were never like this. They had their moments and called each other names but never any physical fights. However, my three brothers always had this kind of fight and they were really awful. I remember one in which one brother threw scissors at another and they stuck in his arm. I also remember how it upset my mother and made her cry and ask the same questions you are asking. I’m so sorry this happened. And stop thinking it’s your fault. It’s not.

    • Thanks Corina.. I guess l just can’t help but wonder what l could have done differently before it got to that stage. Although in my own defence you don’t expect a 23 yr old to egg on a 13 yr old that much. I would have hoped one of them would have had more sense. Just deflated and disappointed.

      • It sounds like she is jealous of him and any attention he gets. Some people are like that. It’s something inside of them, nothing you did. When a 23 year old physically fights with a 13 year old like that, it’s that 23 year old that is to blame. Even if he eggs her on, she should be mature enough to handle it in a nature way. She’s a mother fi4re goodness sake!

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