does everyone get to a stage on a long trip when you suddenly wake up and say “I’ve had enough!”
That point came for me today.
It’s been building I guess it’s been since my birthday, only one of the children rang me to say “Happy Birthday” maybe everyone felt that saying it on Facebook was good enough, it sure felt lonely.
I miss my Grandbabies that much is true I always knew I’d struggle with out them seeing as I am a Spoilt Grandma and I’ve been lucky to see them both almost every day since they’ve been born. And NO!! I never take that for granted. Squishy talks to us on FaceTime and he babbles away and blows kisses and shows us the parts of his body he’s learnt and his hair cut makes him look so grown up. Sweet pea on the other hand won’t talk to us, sometimes she won’t even look at the screen and I wonder is she punishing me for going away without her!
Then there’s the constant closeness that you have when you are camping, day in day out with the same faces. I thought that would be “fun” and we would have quality time together but today it really snapped my last nerve. And if my leg wasn’t so sore and l wasn’t so far from home I’d probably just walk away. Driving time we are about 8 hours from home to me right now it feels like another country away.
At the start of this trip I researched, I’m good at that! I looked at every place we were going to and I found things that I thought we would like to do. I couldn’t have been more wrong. 13 year old boys are just not into anything and everything is “crap and boring” so most of the things I planned to do have not been done. Because and I am probably VERY wrong here but I feel like I need to pick my fights and fighting over going to see the Anzac memorial versus a bad tempered pain-in-the-arse -13 yr old, well, I caved because let’s face it we are in a tent and they are not very sound proof and do we really want the whole caravan park to know our business.. So I crossed that off the list. I crossed mostly everything I wanted to do off the list and promised myself “One day I’ll come back on my own and do these things” yeah like riding a bike around Rottnest Island feeding the Quokkas will be so much fun on my own right?!!
Today the Bloke decided we should visit an historic house of a local famous artist and his daughter Hans and Nora Hysen, I knew we had to pay an entrance fee but then I played the scene in my head of a pouting, moody 13 yr old PITA and I said “Don’t bother, keep driving” I REALLY wanted to go there and see his art studio and look at the art display of both of their work, step into their studios and see out the window what inspired them to paint such beautiful pieces, but I said ” No don’t bother ” and we drove away!
Then I thought to myself “Why are all the things I wanna do being crossed off the list?” Short answer because I am a doormat! I thought I’d passed that stage and sure at HOME I have but out of the house I’m a doormat!!
It’s the same, this whole trip I have wanted to look at dresses for “Mother of the Bride” ok I get that’s not exciting to two blokes but they could have gone and looked else where. Today Master 13 says “well go look in the shops then” yeah and the whole time feel the waves of impatience and boredom radiating off them? No thanks! Then Master 13 says ” Can’t you wear a dress you already have?” Because he just doesn’t get it… MOB is special, maybe it’s just me again!! I don’t have a dress, I probably won’t get one either and chances are it’ll be out of my wardrobe when I do get one!
Now Master 13 is quick to point out that “they DID take me fishing for my birthday and crossed that off my bucket list!” Yes and that’s true and I appreciate the great cost that was involved, it wasn’t that much fun though hanging my head over the side of the boat spewing my guts up!! I can’t say the word “Boat” anymore without my stomach churning!! And looking at the fishing rods each time we pack or unpack the trailer I feel a little green. So thanks but no thanks!!
I am tired of the constant food fights, nothing in the whole take away food selection is interesting unless it’s got chips or/and chicken nuggets… Please!! Have a ham salad sandwich, eat an apple or a piece of cheese. He wanted ham and mayo sandwiches, we brought Mayo, has he eaten it! NO!! He would only eat one type of breakfast cereal we brought it, it’s sat unopened for a week! Is it worth fighting over what he eats?!! I say “No! If you don’t want this go hungry” One day we ate and he didn’t and we were the worst parents in the universe because we refused to buy hot chips again!! He didn’t want a sandwich, a roll, a pie, any pastry or even a sugar filled donut, so he went hungry!
I feel my blood pressure rising and bite my tongue and try to be a good Christian Mother and keep my words gentle but for HEAVENS sake get over yourself you little shit!! The whole freaking world does NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU!
This afternoon I took myself to the shower and I cried as I scrubbed my hair and wished I was home where I could lock myself away in my art studio or my bedroom and just escape!!
18 days left.. It’s almost over and not a minute too soon!!