I just had an Ah Ha! Moment while l was standing at the stove stirring Deluxe Mac and cheese. Not all macaroni cheese is created equal.. when l really need comfort food l go for the Mac and Cheese deluxe option. It’s the packet that comes with a tin of cheese sauce! I dread to think what it is made of before it goes Into that can, But gosh it’s so good!
I have had a head ache for three weeks, l keep waiting for the next symptom to tell me “Something is wrong go to the Dr. ” but so far I’ve been able to ignore it, but yesterday l went to physio and had a sook! I said “It’s probably nothing but can we rule that out first?” I keep my stress in my shoulders always have… but when l find my shoulders are so tight and up near my ears well it’s time to see someone. And let’s face it May was a pretty stressful month.
I tried to make excuses, maybe l need a new pillow, maybe it’s this new bra, blah blah blah… she took one poke at me and said “Oh dear!” For half an hour she poked, prodded and massaged and then did some ultrasound therapy, and reports, “You have two very large trigger spots (knots!) In your shoulder and the base of your skull” so, see! I wasn’t making it up I am sick!! But she also said 3 week headaches are not normal and that my body seems to be fighting off something else. So if it’s not much better by Tuesday I should see a GP and ask them for tests. We’ll see.
But last night l walked out and l could move, and for a little while l felt almost normal. She said “Go home and rest with a heat pack on your neck and shoulders and don’t do anything else” so l did, but oh my gosh by the time it was bedtime l was in the worst pain and l really just wanted to die, l had a fever, I had pain everywhere and wondered how my husband could possibly believe I’m not sick…do I not look sick?
All my life when l get in uncomfortable places l imagine where else I could be.. one time l was really sick almost hospitalised and l was hallucinating l was in Japan with the cherry blossoms, another time l was in South Africa watching the wild life.
When I spent so much time in hospital with Star Son we talked about where we would rather be and where we still want to go… running away from real life is what l do.
Maybe that’s why l am such an avid reader, maybe that’s why l like to write to escape, and those tear jerky movies that l love to re watch!! “Bridges of Madison County” and “Under the Tuscan Sun” and we can’t forget “Eat prey love” all goes with my “Escape theme”its one I’ve used my whole life.
So this week when I feel like crap, my husband in planning a camping trip for the three day long weekend, honestly it’s the last thing l feel like doing BUT l need to do it to break this cycle. I’m almost 100% certain once l get started I’ll love it.
Today l forced myself out of the house with daughter number 1 and two of the Grandchildren, it was hard but l did it and rewarded myself with Mac and Cheese. As l stood here stirring the Mac and Cheese l listened to the back ground noice, Tim McGraw singing “On my Mamas porch” and then my family theme song “Family” (it’s on shuffle play) and l listened to child, 3, 4 and 5, they’re playing some game online, they’re in a group, and sitting in the same room telling each other “Brother look out behind you! J go back and save A! We’re going to make this I’ve got you” and l smiled, if only they were so good together in real life, and then came the waft of well cooked macaroni and hot gooey cheese sauce.. and I wondered
“Where else would I want to be?”
They is my family, they might be crazy but they is my family!!