Its also the first day of summer and ironically enough it’s raining, and not only that, the forecasters are expecting us to receive the whole months worth of rain in the next twenty four hours!
I feel kind of blessed that most of November sweltered through above average temperatures and so we’ve had some kind of summer!
What else has been happening? Well, I was reading on Facebook, how one of my fellow bloggers, Corina, was doing the writing challenge NaNoWriMo and she had been counting down the time to start, so I got a bit intrigued and asked Corina about it, before I knew quite what I was doing, I had signed up, and started writing a Novel, the goal being to write 50,000 words over the month.
I don’t know about everyone else, but as a little girl I did dream about writing a book and dedicating it to my Dad!
My Dad got me hooked on reading when I was really young, my Dad’s idea of reading home work was to hand me the “Herald Sun” newspaper and making me choose a page to read out loud to him. Then when the local library opened, he took me there and because I was too young to get a card, Dad would borrow for me on his card. We spent many happy hours at the library choosing books from all areas of the library and my first particular favourite was a novel by Nina Bawdin- Peppermint Pig!
I read that book so fast Dad decided he should read it too, and agreed it was well written, we then hunted down all of her books and read them together. That started a new tradition of swapping our library books, and then reading the same series of books, which lead to some great discussions, it was a very strong bond of Dad and Mine, books!
So back to NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) the goal is 50,00 words over the month, I was expecting to give up, I’m busy, I baby sit my Grand daughter most nights while her Mum works, I was working for the first half of November leaving home at 7:00 am and returning by 6:00 some nights, and then you have the usual cooking, cleaning and laundry to do. So I signed up with that annoying inner critic in my head saying “You wont finish it, you’ll give up you always do!” I recognise that voice, and have come to hate it, but just recently, somewhere inside me I am learning to shut her down!
I knew exactly what I would write, this book has been brewing in my head since the year two thousand. I started writing it and of course that evil inner critic was right there, nagging, droning on and on, but once I had set myself this goal, I was able to tune her out somewhat, there were parts of my story where she was louder and telling me “You can’t write THAT!” Which made me all the more determined to write it! And the more I wrote, the easier it became to tune her out. Suddenly I couldn’t wait to log on each night and do some writing, I missed a few days die to family commitments but I was able to make up the missed days.
The deadline was drawing nearer, I never had any doubt I would make the 50,000 word goal, but my story is far from over!
Yesterday was the final count and here is my Months worth of writing, 51,238 words! I did it! And I got a huge chunk of my story written. I feel so much lighter and freer for having gotten that part of the story out. What’s next? I will finish writing my story, and then maybe print it out and file it away. I have no idea what to do with it, but my shoulders feel like a weight has been lifted from me. I feel freer but mostly I feel relieved, and thankful to Corina for sharing the fact that she was doing NaNoWriMo and for encouraging me to join in that challenge. My husband always says “Give her a challenge and she’ll work at it” thats the secret to my life, I thrive under deadlines.
My weight loss is no different, the Dr says “You need to loose seven kilos, lets set a six month time frame!” So I prepared my home, I prepared my kitchen, I prepared my mind and a week after turning 50!! I started my weight loss plan. Its been six weeks now, I have officially lost 3.3 kilos, so I am almost half way, and I have lost inches, and I have lost that brain fog and most importantly I’ve gained confidence and energy!
Last weekend we had to go to my Nephew’s wedding, it was being held in a fancy resort. We decided to take our camper and set up with an ensuite site, camping and getting dressed for a fancy wedding, the ensuite was a brilliant plan, we had a relaxed day before the wedding and I had prepared everything I would need to take with me. Normally when preparing for anything like this I take hours to get ready and stress about every little thing, this time it was different and I honestly believe, that having been doing my NaNoWriMo challenge helped because that annoying evil Inner voice that I recognise so well, did NOT show up once!
Previously she would have been in my head screaming at my choice of everything from dress, to make up and shoes. I picked up this dress months ago, and tried it on at the shop! It fit back then and I certainly hadn’t gained any weight, In fact having lost some I had a moments thought “What if it looks silly now too big?” But that was literally a moment. It was a hot day at the wedding and so I feared again for a moment, that my war paint might melt off my face how embarrassing, but then my husband’s much louder voice said “It’s okay, we can come back and re apply if needs be! And what about the other women attending the wedding, they’ll all be in the same boat!” He is my voice of reason when the evil inner critic gets out of hand!
It came time to get ready, It felt like someone else was applying the “war paint” so called because I always feel like I am putting on a shield something to hide behind, war paint, to get me ready to face the criticism that will surely come, that everyone is judging me on how I look, I am so not good enough to be there. Oh yes! That inner evil critic has conditioned me well over the years, always I am doubtful that where ever I go I am good enough to be there.
Here I am with my sister-in-law- Mother of the Groom!
My eldest daughter and I discussed something like this the other day she said “Its your self conscious speaking,” she said “We both have issues that we don’t admit to” I replied “Oh no I know I have issues, I’m the most f’ed up person I know” but somehow since turning fifty, it seems to bother me less. Anyways back to the wedding day, I slipped on the war paint aka makeup, fully expecting it to melt off in the hot weather, I don’t use a lot of make up for that reason! Somehow it looked good,I nailed the eyes, I nailed the nail colour without smudges, I was flying along, the hair was still a slight issue but I shrugged and thanked God that it was windy that day so it didn’t matter really about my less than perfect hair! I walked out to show my Bloke and his face said it all, I did look ok! The mirror hadn’t lied to me I looked ok! Its the first time in maybe forever that I went out to an event and felt comfortable enough to enjoy myself, knowing I looked as nice and I felt. So thank you again Corina and NaNoWriMo, for giving me the confidence to not only write my story, but to shut up that evil inner critic who has haunted me for so long!
Dad here’s your dedication, (in case it never becomes a real book,)
“This book is dedicated with much love to my Father John Oliver Scarffe, who always told me “If you can dream it you can do it,” without that phrase and your voice in my head, I would never have made it to America and would never have written this book! Thank you Dad for teaching me about the magical world of books, and again you said “If you have a book you always have a friend” I loved you always and always will. ”
Only twenty one days until our next camping adventure, we’re getting on the boat and going across to Tasmania for a month!