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Pinch punch first day of the month!

Its also the first day of summer and ironically enough it’s raining, and not only that, the forecasters are expecting us to receive the whole months worth of rain in the next twenty four hours!

I feel kind of blessed that most of November sweltered through above average temperatures and so we’ve had some kind of summer!

What else has been happening? Well, I was reading on Facebook, how one of my fellow bloggers, Corina, was doing the writing challenge NaNoWriMo and she had been counting down the time to start, so I got a bit intrigued and asked Corina about it, before I knew quite what I was doing, I had signed up, and started writing a Novel, the goal being to write 50,000 words over the month.

I don’t know about everyone else, but as a little girl I did dream about writing a book and dedicating it to my Dad!

My Dad got me hooked on reading when I was really young, my Dad’s idea of reading home work was to hand me the “Herald Sun” newspaper and making me choose a page to read out loud to him. Then when the local library opened, he took me there and because I was too young to get a card, Dad would borrow for me on his card. We spent many happy hours at the library choosing books from all areas of the library and my first particular favourite was a novel by Nina Bawdin- Peppermint Pig!

I read that book so fast Dad decided he should read it too, and agreed it was well written, we then hunted down all of her books and read them together. That started a new tradition of swapping our library books, and then reading the same series of books, which lead to some great discussions, it was a very strong bond of Dad and Mine, books!

So back to NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) the goal is 50,00 words over the month, I was expecting to give up, I’m busy, I baby sit my Grand daughter most nights while her Mum works, I was working for the first half of November leaving home at 7:00 am and returning by 6:00 some nights, and then you have the usual cooking, cleaning and laundry to do. So I signed up with that annoying inner critic in my head saying “You wont finish it, you’ll give up you always do!” I recognise that voice, and have come to hate it, but just recently, somewhere inside me I am learning to shut her down!

I knew exactly what I would write, this book has been brewing in my head since the year two thousand. I started writing it and of course that evil inner critic was right there, nagging, droning on and on, but once I had set myself this goal, I was able to tune her out somewhat, there were parts of my story where she was louder and telling me “You can’t write THAT!” Which made me all the more determined to write it! And the more I wrote, the easier it became to tune her out. Suddenly I couldn’t wait to log on each night and do some writing, I missed a few days die to family commitments but I was able to make up the missed days.

The deadline was drawing nearer, I never had any doubt I would make the 50,000 word goal, but my story is far from over!

Yesterday was the final count and here is my Months worth of writing, 51,238 words! I did it! And I got a huge chunk of my story written. I feel so much lighter and freer for having gotten that part of the story out. What’s next? I will finish writing my story, and then maybe print it out and file it away. I have no idea what to do with it, but my shoulders feel like a weight has been lifted from me. I feel freer but mostly I feel relieved, and thankful to Corina for sharing the fact that she was doing NaNoWriMo and for encouraging me to join in that challenge. My husband always says “Give her a challenge and she’ll work at it” thats the secret to my life, I thrive under deadlines.

My weight loss is no different, the Dr says “You need to loose seven kilos, lets set a six month time frame!” So I prepared my home, I prepared my kitchen, I prepared my mind and a week after turning 50!! I started my weight loss plan. Its been six weeks now, I have officially lost 3.3 kilos, so I am almost half way, and I have lost inches, and I have lost that brain fog and most importantly I’ve gained confidence and energy!

Last weekend we had to go to my Nephew’s wedding, it was being held in a fancy resort. We decided to take our camper and set up with an ensuite site, camping and getting dressed for a fancy wedding, the ensuite was a brilliant plan, we had a relaxed day before the wedding and I had prepared everything I would need to take with me. Normally when preparing for anything like this I take hours to get ready and stress about every little thing, this time it was different and I honestly believe, that having been doing my NaNoWriMo challenge helped because that annoying evil Inner voice that I recognise so well, did NOT show up once!

Previously she would have been in my head screaming at my choice of everything from dress, to make up and shoes. I picked up this dress months ago, and tried it on at the shop! It fit back then and I certainly hadn’t gained any weight, In fact having lost some I had a moments thought “What if it looks silly now too big?” But that was literally a moment. It was a hot day at the wedding and so I feared again for a moment, that my war paint might melt off my face how embarrassing, but then my husband’s much louder voice said “It’s okay, we can come back and re apply if needs be! And what about the other women attending the wedding, they’ll all be in the same boat!” He is my voice of reason when the evil inner critic gets out of hand!

It came time to get ready, It felt like someone else was applying the “war paint” so called because I always feel like I am putting on a shield something to hide behind, war paint, to get me ready to face the criticism that will surely come, that everyone is judging me on how I look, I am so not good enough to be there. Oh yes! That inner evil critic has conditioned me well over the years, always I am doubtful that where ever I go I am good enough to be there.

Here I am with my sister-in-law- Mother of the Groom!

My eldest daughter and I discussed something like this the other day she said “Its your self conscious speaking,” she said “We both have issues that we don’t admit to” I replied “Oh no I know I have issues, I’m the most f’ed up person I know” but somehow since turning fifty, it seems to bother me less. Anyways back to the wedding day, I slipped on the war paint aka makeup, fully expecting it to melt off in the hot weather, I don’t use a lot of make up for that reason! Somehow it looked good,I nailed the eyes, I nailed the nail colour without smudges, I was flying along, the hair was still a slight issue but I shrugged and thanked God that it was windy that day so it didn’t matter really about my less than perfect hair! I walked out to show my Bloke and his face said it all, I did look ok! The mirror hadn’t lied to me I looked ok! Its the first time in maybe forever that I went out to an event and felt comfortable enough to enjoy myself, knowing I looked as nice and I felt. So thank you again Corina and NaNoWriMo, for giving me the confidence to not only write my story, but to shut up that evil inner critic who has haunted me for so long!

Dad here’s your dedication, (in case it never becomes a real book,)

“This book is dedicated with much love to my Father John Oliver Scarffe, who always told me “If you can dream it you can do it,” without that phrase and your voice in my head, I would never have made it to America and would never have written this book! Thank you Dad for teaching me about the magical world of books, and again you said “If you have a book you always have a friend” I loved you always and always will. ”

Only twenty one days until our next camping adventure, we’re getting on the boat and going across to Tasmania for a month!

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I can’t sleep…

Its too dark to read my book, but its too light to go back to sleep, so I decided to check my emails and online things. Google plus come up with a blog post by Rachel Riddler, she has a new bible study happening, its for the whole month and she posts weekly. She linked to this article…  In Gods image. But in particular was this by Naomi…

The reason why it got my attention was a few simple lines…

IN HIS IMAGE
We – both women and men – were created in the image of God. This phrase is so
important, that it’s repeated: in his own image, in the image of God.

This has had such an impact on me this week. Personally, I have a very loud mental voice telling me that my tummy is too big, that I need to lose a stone, that my hair is a mess… I spend far too much time listening to that voice, and not to the truth of this verse: my body is made in the image of God.

As God created our bodies (in His image), he knows our bodies. He knows the complexities of hormones, of gynaecology, of ‘women’s health.’ He knows that we listen to that nagging voice. He knows how we talk to ourselves about our bodies. Let’s not forget that those bodies are made in His image. We have a responsibility and a privilege to care for our bodies. We definitely shouldn’t be shaming ourselves over them.

And this got my attention why? well, I’ve just spent another almost full week, being sick, and I spent that week wallowing in self pity. Come Thursday night I was almost begging my Husband to take me to hospital, all of my home self help remedies had failed me, I had a raging temperature, I was basically “Over it!” So my husband came home from work, he calmed me, he brought me drinks, panadol, wet face cloths, he made me Vegemite sandwiches, he babied me until the Panadol kicked in, despite me telling him for the umpteenth time “If I was a horse you’d shoot me and put me out of this misery” so selfish I am! And I know I am NOT the only woman who does hear that niggling little voice of self doubt, mine is loud and clear and sounds just like the women who birthed me.

October 11th I turn 50! I have been excited for 50 ever since I turned 21, that seemed to be my milestone, Up until August I was excited, then I got that really bad Flu, its been going around our whole state, people are dying! And in August I had maybe 6 days where I felt “normal” so I was hoping September was going to be better, it is after all Spring! But nope! Then I got this tummy bug thing! In August when I got the flu bug, I started to hear doubts sneak in. “is this a preview of what 50 looks like? Me being fat and un well and horrible?” Suddenly I started to feel. “old” and previously thats never how I felt about 50!

Then the dizzy spells started and so I decided to go to the Dr and I spoke to her and poured out my hopes and my woes and said “I want to start my 50’s off in my best health, what can I do?” I picked the right woman for the job and she started doing all those “Womens tests” you girls know what Im talking about the ones we keep putting off, the Pap Smears and Breast exams and mole checks etc, I had been putting mine off since 2011! She even did my height and weight and then my BMI to which she said “You could stand to loose a few kilos” Oh I knew that! I didnt want to hear that! But then she added “I can help you with that too!” And so I left that day with an order for a whole range of blood testing she wants done and a much better attitude.

so reading this line…
As God created our bodies (in His image), he knows our bodies. He knows the complexities of hormones, of gynaecology, of ‘women’s health.’ He knows that we listen to that nagging voice. He knows how we talk to ourselves about our bodies. Let’s not forget that those bodies are made in His image. We have a responsibility and a privilege to care for our bodies. We definitely shouldn’t be shaming ourselves over them.

It reminded me I dont talk to myself nicely, I wouldnt talk to anyone else the way I do to myself. And I do have a responsibility to look after this body that God has provided me with. A morning prayer and a blog post! Go and read Rachel’s post its really good.

This week in Cro… hold on!

There Will be a “This week in Crochet land” later in the week for last week. I am terribly behind. 

I am really REALLY sick! It came on so suddenly within hours l went from happily dancing around the house singing as l cleaned the house.  I spent three hours doing some “extra” bible study yep! I am “that” student that goes back and does stuff not required because l don’t want to miss anything. I suggested to my Study teacher Bianca, a few weeks ago that my work was so impressive l might need a gold star. She said she didn’t have any so she drew me a star! So l went and brought her some gold stars for next time l give her work for corrections. 

So Wednesday afternoon it all started sliding down hill, starting with a weird rattling in my chest and a tickle in my throat. By 5:00pm l was feverish and coughing. I think l was delirious asking my husband to ring Bianca and cancel our combined study and lunch date for the next day. He told me, after l woke him up at 12:45am asking him “Did you call Bianca?” 

“For the 5th time Yes! I called Bianca!”

It’s important not to let Bianca down because she’s taken me under her wing and added me to her “Sisterhood” and that sense of belonging is so precious!

Thursday- ALL day was a repeat of Wednesday afternoon now add being sore from coughing and being dizzy, no appetite my throats was so sore felt like l swallowed razor blades. I did a gentle house clean and because it was super windy l changed all the bedding and put that out on the line but even that simple task sent me to bed for three hours. More fevers and raspy voice. 

Friday although it looked lovely out the bedroom window and the temperature tells me its spring like weather l was shivering tucked up in bed, not even attempting to clean the house. The headache was the worst, painkillers were not touching it. So that night after only sleeping three very broken hours on Thursday l took a stronger pain killer Friday night and slept!

Saturday morning l open my eyes wearily. So far so good, no headache, no cough if l don’t breathe too deeply, but what’s this?! 😮 a massive cold sore on my lip! The third one l’ve ever had! An ulcer on my tongue 👅 and what’s wrong with my hands?! 

Every finger swollen and blistered! Awesome my Ross River Virsus has now joined the party! Cold water hurt my hands, hot water hurt more, l could barely close my hands to hold a glass. But the house was almost empty of food so we had to do shopping. 

I felt like a zombie, l don’t recall any of it except leaving my husband in a store and rushing outside for air l thought l was going to faint. I sat slumped like a homeless person until my husband came to collect me. Back home to bed! My eldest daughter was hosting a birthday party for our youngest Grand daughter “Faerygirl” and had warned us “Stay away!” I’m so glad we did.

Sunday l had a preplanned trip organised with my cousin to an American expo to do research for our 2018 trip but l honestly don’t know how l got through it. This morning l woke up half deaf!! But we did it and got lots of tour info to use. But back home again it was straight back to bed. 

So now it’s today, Monday and while l am still coughing up a lung, have very little voice, no taste sensation at all, l am forcing myself to eat to get better. I’ve had no pain relief since Sunday and lm up and dressed. Only because l had an appointment with the foot Dr about my “Acheillies tendinitis” I explained my foot is the least of my current woes until he pressed exactly on the right place and made me squeal. Ok so my foot is back in sticking plaster for another week but he says he approves of my spending so much down time laying around the house it’s helping my foot! Back to him in two weeks!

So while lm on a good run l began crocheting some of the 7 squares l missed out on. I’ll come back later with pics of those. 

I really cannot believe how severely this “bug” has hit me, l do not recall ever feeling this sick and l wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy!!

Sometimes you just need a little reminder…

So this Saturday morning is different from usual as the Bloke had to go into work, a rare occasion on a Saturday. After cleaning the house Miss Three aka Sweetpea was restless and her Mum was growling at her, so Grandma to the rescue “Lets go to the park!” Says l, immediately regretting my hasty words. Its winter- although the sun is shining the wind is cold. 

So off we set Sweetpea and l. There is a little park at the end of our court, there are a few swings and some rocking rides on giant springs. We talked about springs and how you might spell it, a huge plane flew over so we talked about planes and where we would go on that big plane. 

We walked up the hill towards the bigger park as we walked we counted our stomping feet, we talked about shapes we could see when she spotted a triangle cut into a gate. We talked about the little Willy wagtail bird as he hopped along the ground in front of us, l told her about his beautiful song and she told me “Oh Grandma he’s so so SO cute and little!” 

At the next park, there were bigger obstacles to tackle, a slide, climbing frame and seesaws. Some she tackled bravely others she called “Grandma l need help!” 

As l sat there in the sunshine and watched the puffy white clouds skipping across the sky l thought about Jehovah and how he built the world in just 7 days, and how that silly rhyme goes about “Blue and green should never be seen unless a colour in between” which made me smile because God created Blue skies and Green trees which are usually seen together so how does that rhyme even make sense?! Is someone suggesting “HE” Got it wrong!?!

Just swinging with my girl!

She could be any little girl but she’s MINE!

“I’m driving a bus Grandma!”


Sometimes it’s the little things in your day that remind you about love, life and “just being”

I’ve had a horrible week! It started off well I spent Monday with my cousin who is on holidays and then Tuesday I attended my first night time bible study which was amazing, l also started a 21 day detox but come Wednesday I was so sick! My first thought was “Satan really got nervous that I attended bible study last night!” So l prayed harder! I spent all Day Wednesday vomiting and sleeping. Needless to say l gave up detox quick smart! Thursday l spent the day in bed sore- l felt like l had a metal belt wrapped around my mid section squeezing me tighter and tighter, Friday l felt a little better but still sore. 

So today’s trip to the park has been the highlight of the week! 

Oops! I did it again!

I forgot to stop by and write and now it’s been five months since my last confession, errrr, I mean last posting.

So I won’t bore you all with the back story, lets just move on from here and start with HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

I hope that 2017 is turning out nicely for you. Me Im having some ups and downs. We’ve done loads of camping, which lead to being bitten by mozzies (AKA mosquitoes) typical camping hazard except mine also led to Ross River Virus so that hasn’t been pleasant, some days are worse than others. At least currently I can walk again without too much pain!

**UPDATE**

opps, its now July, almost August, I am such a bad blog Mother!

So the Ross River Virus has been in and off, my my foot never seemed to heal so last month I went back to the Dr because I noticed a lump on the back of my heel, he sent me to a “Foot Dr” it seems that I have had and am being treated for a case of acute tendonitis.  Great huh? So Ive been having my foot wrapped and then un wrapped and re wrapped, currently I am on the unwrap and I have to walk around two weeks then go back for the next discussion about what to do with my ankle.

In the meantime, I have quit all social media, and I am soending time with my crochet and bible studies, Monday will be three weeks since I quit social media and TV as well. I am finally getting some reading done and several hours per week specifically on bible studies, and I recently started to attend church service each week, first time in my life and I am loving it.

I have no idea why this post didn’t get posted when I wrote the first part of it, but oh well, here I am better late than not at all.

Happy 2017!

So its Feb 24th 2017

I’ve been missing in action, Im not going to replay everything that happened but lets just start from  here. This year has been busy already and its been a mixed bag, good and bad.

I am doing a crochet challenge, so each day I crochet one granny square… doing that with Nadia from YARNutopia.

I am also doing a temperature blanket, where we crochet one row a day with a colour that represents the days highest temperature. I am using this time to learn new stitches and techniques.

Plus 43 things is back! Oh how I have missed that site, its run by different people but similar to the old set up, so Ive been able to rcreate some of my old goals! One of the goals is about asking questions to see who will play along and answer them, so in response to today question was to share our blog.. I just realised how neglected mine has become.

I will endevour to keep up to date with my blog this year! I promise!!

 

Well starting in two weeks because next week I am away camping in South Australia.

 

Make over time…

And once again, I haven’t been here recently.. I am sorry I promised to be better.. but then I decided to work on me.

If you’ve followed me for a while you may have read my “50 before 50” goal if not here it is…https://kimlhine.wordpress.com/about/50-before-50-a-work-in-progress/

Well guess what? that 50 is racing upon us and I hate to be surprised about some things so I’m planning.. OK, so I have 11 months, but it’s good to be prepared, I want to cross some things off that list and also the most important one is “to throw myself an amazing 50th birthday party” So the planning has begun, the theme is set and I am working on collecting the bits n piece to decorate. I could have it at a “place” and let someone else do the work, but then I wouldn’t enjoy it as much. Maybe it’s from all the years of planning parties for the numerous children and friends and family, I LIKE the responsibility of making it come to live and I don’t even mind the clean up, the bigger the mess the more fun that was had.

Anyways… side track, one of my goals was to loose weight and get to my goal weight (I did that but I did not maintain it! ) and keep it off till my party! this would mean that I can wear a fabulous costume.. yes most of my parties involve some kind of theme involving some kind of fancy dressing.

So I have embarked on “transformation” I have 11 months now to get where I want to be and to stay there. August 22nd I weighed in and did the measurements. I am doing Body Trim again, because I KNOW it works and I KNOW that I can maintain it I just have to be strong for and with myself.

Well now it is week four..I have lost three kilograms and yes that’s a small amount, but since I only had about 10 kilos to loose it means that it will be slower.. but that’s ok, I understand it’s part of the program and so usually when you don’t loose on the scales you loose on the tape measure and this too has been happening.

So part of the first four weeks on Body Trim is learning to “re program your body and eating the correct way” we have to learn to eat three main meals and three snacks, all Protein. The first three days are a detox phase where you eat only protein and drink lots of water (for me that’s been an effort) and get used to making 10,000 at least steps a day. I don’t know about yáll but 10,000 steps takes a lot of effort. So that meant, little apart from house work got done. House work is actually a good way to get 10,000 steps but then I had friends on “Fit Bit” and so we started challenging each other and that can be addictive!

Anyways that explains my absence, so now I am back and I am going to share the journey with you and share the recipes that I make and I just found this really cool exercise to get rid of my double chins! SO I thought I’d start by sharing that!

I also forgot to mention, that since I was doing so well on Body trim, I have a better attitude about loosing weight and so I am doing (to further push myself) “SugarfreeSeptember” each day we take a photo of the thing on this list!

 

Why don’t you join us? go to http://www.liveitdoit.com.au for more info! you can start where you are!